Yeah, I know, I haven't written in over a month. What's wrong with me? How am I ever to gain a significant group of followers if I am inconsistent with my writing schedule? This is the question that plagues me each day. I admit it. Somehow, somewhere, I have learned the dreaded art of procrastination and I want to unlearn it already!
Now that I'm done ranting about my inconsistencies... I do have something to say.
Recently as Dan was going to spend time with a friend, I said, "Tonight is a night that I would like to have a friend." He, of course, then felt bad about leaving for the evening. I was fine. Really, I was. I was looking forward to a quiet evening at home, alone. I really was. Why I said what I said, still does not seem to set well with me. Maybe that's why I feel I should take the time to write about it.
Dan said, "Christie, you really should have a friend." To which, I replied, "I don't need FRIENDS." I then came up with a silly idea of starting a "Rent-A-Friend" business where you could rent a person who would hang out with you for a night - with no obligation of ever seeing them again. One rule would apply: They would not be allowed to COMPLAIN while they were in your presence. Nope. They would not even be allowed to think about it! They would leave after a few hours of hanging out, and that's that. No follow-up, just a night out with a "friend" that you rented. No obligation to set up a "next meeting" - nothing like that - just a rented friend. You can rent pets now and designer handbags, in case you didn't know... WHY CAN'T YOU RENT A FRIEND?
"She is crazy at some deep emotional level", I'm pretty sure that's what I hear you whispering under your breath as you read on...
The feelings of being obligated to nurture a deep, meaningful relationship has become so incredibly unattractive to me recently.
I want to be like Christ. I hope (and pray) that you've been able to decipher that from my writings. What was Christ's example to me when it came to having friends? This is the question I must ask myself if I want to be like Him. (and I really do)
He had an "inner circle" of three in whom He invested and He had twelve (the three of which I mentioned before are included in this number) who followed Him closely. He was kind to tax collectors, prostitutes, widows, orphans and even the so-called religious of His time... even though He had issues with the way they did "religion" without RELATIONSHIP.
Okay, so as I type, this word RELATIONSHIP really pops out at me - RELATIONSHIP - FRIENDSHIP - DISCIPLESHIP - where are the lines drawn that separate these three? Do they need to be separated?
If I help lead someone to Christ does that automatically make them "my friend" or a fellow Christ follower? (A DISCIPLE)
Seriously, I know I am thinking about this "FRIEND" thing way too much right now... I have even noted recently that I do not have nor do I want many friends - but I want a HUGE funeral when I die. I'm not sure I can have both... thankfully I will be long gone and know nothing of whether I have 2 people at my funeral or 200.
I am beginning to feel like MAINTAINING FRIENDSHIPS are becoming harder and harder at this stage of my life.
I quite regularly enjoy "pulling away" from others to reevaluate WHY I live life and what my purpose is. Maybe that's what I am doing right now, maybe that is what has prompted this whole friends shmiends talk.
In the end, I know that Jesus is a friend that sticks very close to all of us, whether we feel like we have friends or need them. This is NOT a relationship that requires little work either... there is HUGE responsibility that comes with nurturing a meaningful relationship with Him. At the end of the day, THIS RELATIONSHIP/FRIENDSHIP/DISCIPLESHIP is the most important of all. If I can get this one right, I'll stop worrying about the rest.
Note: While searching for a picture to add to this article, I found that in JAPAN this type of business REALLY EXISTS! INSANE!
